that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
