Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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