She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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