The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize