She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
