Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
