I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
