Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize