I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
