We got so high we made milksteak
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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