What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
