Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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