3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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