Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
