This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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