Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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