They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize