I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
two words...techno handjob
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
