Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
