Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
