i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
