I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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