Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
