i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize