just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
