He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
