well I can't set my house on fire every night
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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