anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
