That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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