I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
