I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
