you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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