these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
