i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think i got beer on your cat.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
