I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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