I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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