I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dicks are not precious.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
