feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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