Ambien. No doubt about it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
