I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
