I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
