What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
