either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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