I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
