rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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