ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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