Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
