I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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