Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
