Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
