I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
