Moan for me like Helen Keller
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
