just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
