oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
