do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
