he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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