Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
