he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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