she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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