Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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