theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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