if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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