Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
