I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize