Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
