the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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