I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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