I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
