I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
