we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
