Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
