Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
