I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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