I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize