Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
