Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize