As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
