I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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