Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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