I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dicks are not precious.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
