You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
