U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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