Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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