I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize