so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
