Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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